We sat down with Stanley for an in-depth Q and A.

Timmy Timpson:

Stanley your career has had a lot of ups and downs.  You made a fortune working the underground circuit, yet you didn't feel completely fulfilled?

Stanley Johnson:

The money was great, but it wasn't stable.  In the back of my mind when I walked into a gas station bathroom for a match I didn't know if the guy I was playing was a serious sportsman.  A lot of times the punks didn't have the money they wanted to bet, other times you risked getting mugged or worse.  The bigger the sport gets, the more dangerous it gets.  That's why it has to become an organized mainstream sport.

Timmy Timpson:

The sport of hanging pork has in recent years had a gay stigma to it. Which in theory, makes it more difficult to become a mainstream spectator sport.

Stanley Johnson:

I've had many matches where I thought my opponent was a competitor looking for a match, when in reality he was a homosexual looking for some action.

Timmy Timpson:

So you agree, the stereotype is well deserved?

Stanley Johnson:

No, no those men weren't true sportsman, they give the sport a bad name.  For the real athletes there is nothing gay about the sport.  What's so gay about two or more guys getting together and measuring flaccid penises?  Sound pretty straight to me.

Timmy Timpson:

You make a good point, but that doesn't mean the sport can succeed in the mainstream world.

Stanley Johnson:

The big three in the U. S. A. are football, baseball, basketball.  A few hundred years ago people would have laughed if you said these "games" would be huge.  Every sport needs a starting point.

Timmy Timpson:

Comparing Hung Pork 50 to those sports seems like a stretch to me.

Stanley Johnson:

You need to look deeper, go back thousands of years in time.  Sports have always been a way that a male showcased his dominance over other males, thus making himself more attractive to the females.  Having a longer penis than another man gives you dominance, both mentally and physically and the ladies seem to like it.

Timmy Timpson:

Hanging pork is just two guys measuring penises.

Stanley Johnson:

Basketball is just putting a round ball in a small hoop.  No, it's not there's much more to basketball.  Hung Pork 50 is the same.  It is a science, anything can happen and you know that.

Timmy Timpson:

What makes you so sure the sport will become a mainstream success?

Stanley Johnson:

I just know. We recently graduated our first class of 55 students at the Hung Pork Institute. The interest is there, the current class has 97 students, and we expect a bigger increase for the next class. Students flock from all over the world to learn from the best.

Timmy Timpson:

How do you choose your students?

Stanley Johnson:

Students must pass a rigorous entrance exam that includes a written exam, multiple choice and an essay. After that there is the physical portion, which consists of the applicant dropping his pants for a flaccid penis measurement. That’s the most important part. We need something to work with, raw talent, if that’s not there it’s a lot tougher to make a living in this sport.

Timmy Timpson:

Any truth to the rumors about a deal with a Vegas casino?

Stanley Johnson:

Frank Stalloan and I have signed a deal with a Vegas casino to develop a casino version of Hung Pork 50. (Due to contract stipulation Stanley cannot reveal which casino at this time.)

Timmy Timpson:

How’s that gonna work?

Stanley Johnson:

A couple of different ways. 1. You play a dealer, similar to blackjack. If you win it pays two to one. 2. Two guys have a showdown for an individual wager. Spectators watch and place bets beforehand, thus forming odds. Similar to boxing events.

Timmy Timpson:

Zippy Chiagora. Tell us about the upcoming match.

Stanley Johnson:

The rematch is scheduled for two months from now, tickets are on sale, it will take place in Vegas, and the winner receives a million dollars. That’s all I can really say according to my contract.

Timmy Timpson:

Good luck to you in the match. I’ll be there front row.

Stanley Johnson:

Thank you.